Bitter Joyful Emotional Random Tired Infatuated Angry Hopeful Solitary Healthy

April 24, 2009 by vongsundara 

Random thoughts for a random kind of day. I’ve gone through probably the craziest times of my Toronto life in the past few days. I haven’t felt so many different emotions simultaneously in years.

I started off the week determined but that determination switched to bitterness in a hurry. It’s the type of bitterness I was used to feeling in Calgary but haven’t felt since until this week. I’m absolutely the weirdest bitter person ever. I spent two days listening to angry Justin Timberlake songs like What Goes Around and Cry Me A River while screaming out One Republic’s Apologize while walking down the streets.

You see, I’m the type of person who allows himself to feel emotions as deeply as I can. I always find that this helps me move passed the negativity much more quickly. Unfortunately, this leads to a couple of days of extremely raw emotions. Lukcily for me, my close friends have gotten used to my hot and cold cycles.

A lot has been happening physically to me in the last little while. I haven’t been to work for a full day in almost two weeks and haven’t played sports for almost a month. I was definitely on a downward spiral and just barely hanging on for dear life.

Amazingly, I think that the events of this week allowed me to finally let go and hit the bitter rock bottom. Yesterday, everything seemed to turn around. I completely felt on top of the world for the first time in a month. I saw the ridiculousness of my bitterness (though it was fun while it was lasted). I willed myself back to work and back on to the badminton court. I wasn’t able to survive a full session of either, but it was important to get back on the track.

I spent this afternoon weeping while watching Milk and My Sassy Girl. Good lord, how many times can I cry in one afternoon. My face is still wet.

On the bright side, I actually had some fun flirtatiousness going on in the middle of my bitter march to rock bottom. I suppose a spring fling wouldn’t be the worst thing for me at the moment, especially considering I haven’t had even a sniff of a love life since moving to Toronto. It’s strange how everything happens.

Oh, and on top of everything, my mom is in town, my improv classes start tonight, and I have an awesome sci-fi party to geek out at before I go to bed tonight. It looks like the rest of my day is going to resemble the start of my week emotionally: completely damn random.

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2 Responses to “Bitter Joyful Emotional Random Tired Infatuated Angry Hopeful Solitary Healthy”

  1. hunter on July 9th, 2009 11:30 pm

    you are not cute and you are not my spokesperson

  2. John on September 7th, 2009 2:15 pm

    It takes courage to put your thoughts and experiences "out there." What you say and write reflects the feelings and experiences of many others and you express it with insight and wit. I think you are attractive and you are definitely a spokesperson with a future.

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